Trying to reason with children


Linda… Listen,
My two children think that just “because their friends can” they should be able to get, buy or do something. I encounter this problem often these days and it happens mainly during bedtime. My children are ages 14 and 12.
They need to learn to appreciate the good parents they have because we do not give in to all of their requests. We have tried to make them understand that we aren’t as wealthy as some of their friends parents and that getting “everything” you want right now will set them up for failure down the road. Linda, any suggestions that may help us with this situation would be appreciated.
The Mean Parents in Opelika

Dear Mean Parents in Opelika,
At ages 14 and 12, your children are mature enough to understand that not all families are alike. Just because a friend of theirs enjoys a certain privilege or has the latest and greatest phone or video game does not mean that your children must.
I wish you had been more detailed about the problem occurring at bedtime. . If they are arguing about the time they go to bed, they need to understand that for them to do well in school and make good grades they need a good night’s sleep. It is proven in several studies that sleep-deprived kids can’t learn.
If your children are asking for “things,” then let me remind you that parents who give in to a child’s every wish fail to teach them one of life’s most valuable lessons: how to cope with disappointment. Therefore, please don’t feel guilty about putting your foot down. You are doing the right thing now but most importantly you are shaping them into hard working independent adults.
Good Luck!

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