By Lucy Fuller
I didn’t go to church today. I’m not good about going to church every Sunday… I never have been. But- I went outside today. I sat in the sun. I watched the bluebirds fly in and out of their box, busy taking care of their babies. I watched my chickens roam the garden and peck for insects. I sat with Jody and laughed as we watched Abigail splash in her little $8 baby pool from Dollar General. I picked blueberries and mulberries and laughed at my purple stained fingers. I tended to my bees and enjoyed a special lesson on work ethic from both of my queens. I looked at the rainbows that were formed in the spray of water from the garden hose as I watered my plants. Every single moment today I enjoyed and cherished and thanked the Lord for.
I may not have been present inside of a building decorated with stained glass and polished pews filled with friends…. but I was definitely with God today and he was definitely beside me. I saw him in every single moment of every single hour that I wandered around our little farm.
He was the wind that blew against my hot, sweaty skin while I was too exhausted to move out of my lawn chair. He was the chirp of the bird that drew my attention towards the bluebird family tending to their young. He was the cluck of the hen that ran around proudly with the worm in her mouth, which made me chuckle. He was the ray of sun that made Abigail’s eyes sparkle like little blue stars while she splashed and played in the water. He was the calm nostalgic memory of my grandfather as I picked each mulberry and placed it in my mouth. He was the sweetness of each bite. He was the calmness that surrounded me while tending to my hives and the confidence I felt whilst doing so. He was in the rainbows I saw while watering my garden which reminded me of his everlasting love. Every single second of the day he was there in some way, whispering in my ear, “I love you and you are my child.”
I always try my best to see what others miss. Whether it be a moment in nature or a rusty discarded piece of junk on the side of the road, there is beauty in everything. Sometimes I have to remind myself to look a little harder, but the beauty is always there. Even though I wanted to shut the world out today, I forced myself outside to look for God’s beauty, and I saw it in everything. Nature has always grounded me, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by it. It makes these kind of days a little easier. In a way, nature is my own personal church.
Today I reminded myself of a few things; Life is short. Be who you are. Shine your light brightly. Do the best you can and be nice to every living thing. Be someone to remember when you’re gone from this world.
And always, always, always…. love.
Depression is no fun. It’s a horrible, horrible thing… but if you can make it through the worst days, you learn to appreciate days like this. The days you almost didn’t make it out of bed. The days you had to force yourself to walk outside just to get out of the house. The days that all you can do is remind yourself to breathe. And of course, the days you missed church because you couldn’t face the world. Well, I faced it (in my own little way)…. and it was damn near perfect. Thanks be to God for understanding and allowing me to feel his love, even with my mulberry stained hands.
I know tomorrow will be easier; it always is.
If the day gets hard, I’ll just go back outside, to my church.
Lucy Fuller is a lover of nature, animals, gardening, and old houses. She is a full time mother and wife. She currently resides in Dadeville with her husband, two daughters, 4 dogs, and cat. She may be reached at email@example.com.