Finding peace in my ‘Remember Room’
OPINION —
When I turned 70 and retired from fulltime ministry, I found time to read books that I had little time to peruse while serving as a pastor. One of the authors I enjoyed was Frederick Buechner and his book, A Room Called Remember.
I was intrigued by his counsel to take seriously the art of remembering. His idea grew out of a dream in which he found himself in a hotel, in a special room, a “Room Called Remember.”
It was in that Remember Room that he felt at peace, where everything seemed the way it should be. Other rooms in the hotel were cramped and uncomfortable, but in this special room he found peace.
Unless dementia prevents it, all of us remember. Memories often come at us with a fury. Old hurts, disappointments and failures seem never to leave us alone. Like the poor, they are “always with us.”
Buechner invites us to develop the power of positive remembering, learning to gather up memories that help us feel at home and at peace. He calls it taking time to remember our purpose, to search deeply for the truth about ourselves.
Sadly, many of us live on a rather superficial level. We pass the time of day with people. We talk about politics, the weather or sports. But we avoid what matters most to us. Alone, we turn to a book, television or crossword puzzles, eluding the deeper feelings that fill our memories.
To remember with a purpose is to recall the lives we have lived, the journeys we have made, the wrong roads and the right roads taken. It is to realize that through many difficulties we have survived, and to find joy in seeing ourselves as survivors.
Looking back, we recognize that we made some wrong decisions but many that proved to be right. And we realize we were never alone. We had help, the support of people who were dear to us, and the unseen support of the One sometimes called “The Helper.”
As the number of my days is nearing the end, I am spending time in my own Room Called Remember. There I have recalled with joy my childhood days, growing up with three precious sisters and a younger brother. We endured the usual issues of life, but we were a family in the best sense of that precious word.
We were blessed with the security of parents who loved us and loved each other. They gave us boundaries and taught us by example to live by biblical principles. Three of us have mourned the loss of our youngest siblings, our sister Laurida and our brother Seth, but we constantly remind each other of the difference each made in our lives. With joy we recall their smiles, their laughter, and the ways they loved us.
Our family bond remains strong, partly because every Friday we have lunch together, along with Pearl, Seth’s widow, who is a cherished sister to us. We have been inspired by Pearl’s victorious spirit during her journey through the valley of sorrow. Guess what we do besides eat: we remember! Yes, we drink too much coffee but because of the way we were raised, we are not drinking Jack Daniel’s!
In my Remember Room I stir up memories of dear friends in all the churches we served for more than 70 years. So many names come to mind: people who trusted us, loved us and came alongside us in the service of our Lord Jesus. What a precious gift of God they were to us in every chapter of our lives! Without their help, understanding and kindness, I would have been a dismal failure. As I remember these friends, I am praising Jesus for each one. Many of them are in heaven now, and they may be wondering why I have not yet arrived. They may think I did not make the cut!
I am remembering the remarkable people with whom I have served Jesus at Saint James Church for the past 20 years, my dear sisters and brothers in the New Walk of Life Church in Montgomery, and my home church, First Methodist Church in Wetumpka. So many of them have inspired me, by their example, to deepen my commitment to serve Jesus. Such treasured friends remind me that I am a blessed man, and for that I praise Jesus.
Many years have come and gone. The shadows are lengthening and occasionally I see the lights of home up ahead. But in the days that remain, I shall remember with joy and gratitude, laugh a lot, and enjoy the peace that remembering brings. I shall gaze at my blessings and only glance at the events that brought pain and sorrow. What brings peace is remembering the times of sharing, learning, serving, growing, living, laughing and loving.
In my Remember Room I find sweet peace in knowing that I have many friends who remember me in their prayers, friends who are glad that we have known each other, loved each other, served Jesus together and laughed together.
Buechner is right about the value of remembering. We may find energy, strength and peace in remembering. Such peace births quietness in the soul, joy in the heart, hope for today and all our tomorrows. I am praising Jesus for my Room Called Remember for in it I am energized to continue living the life of love that honors Jesus.
