BY WALT ALBRITTON
OPINION —
Understanding may be the best thing one person can offer another person. There are moments in life when nothing is more important than having someone understand how you feel and forgive you for something wrong you have done.
I can testify that understanding, wrapped in love and encouragement, can save your life. Many times, when I was ready to give up, my wife came to my rescue simply by standing by me with an understanding heart. Without that, I would have thrown in the towel.
Early on I took her help for granted. As years went by, I became more thankful for her unwavering support. Along the way, we became inseparable partners in this journey called life. And I realized I could not make it without the understanding she so freely gave me.
I am indebted as well to many friends for their supportive understanding which seems to work best in hard times. Recently a friend’s kind support at a difficult moment touched my heart. I was reminded again that the soul is strengthened when someone says, without criticism or a judgmental spirit, “I understand.”
I hate to admit it, but I am good at rushing to judgment. Many of us are. We can hurt the feelings of loved ones or friends without meaning to do it. We can condemn others too quickly when they have been foolish, careless or thoughtless.
All of us need understanding when things go wrong, not condemnation. And when understanding is flavored with encouragement, it’s like good medicine.
Failure, illness, loss of a job, divorce or the loss of a loved one can trigger despair. None of us are immune to life’s perplexities. When despair settles in, the last thing we need is someone advising us to “stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
What works wonders is for someone to forget about their own struggles long enough to say genuinely, “I understand.” People not caught in the web of heartache are prone to suggest quick cures for others. Perhaps that’s because it’s hard for a free fish to understand a hooked fish.
Recovery and healing take time. None of us can recover easily from harsh experiences that bring us to our knees. When we are down, we can be “cut to the quick” by those who judge us harshly. We need time, understanding and the gentle caring of others.
We need what people alone can provide. Drugs are not enough. Even wise counseling is not enough. A new beginning is seldom possible without the aid of friends who come alongside us with gentle understanding that can bve communicated without words.
You may think you are an exception, that you are tough, self-reliant and strong. You can make it on your own. There’s a good chance you are wrong. Chances are you are made like the rest of us — a human being who needs now and then the gift of understanding.
How can you find the understanding you need? Stop harping about what’s wrong and focus on what’s right with the people near you. Look around. Encourage some hurting friend with the gift of your understanding. First thing you know, it will come back to you. Understanding is a lot like love; the more you give away, the more you will receive.