Hazardous to your health?
OPINION —
In late August, the Surgeon General declared that parenting could be hazardous to your health. You read that right. Parenting is now in the same category as smoking, alcohol, and other forms of drug abuse.
According to the report:
- 1/3 of parents gave their stress level as 8 or higher on a 10-point scale,
- 2/5 of parents said they were “so stressed they feel numb,”
- 3/5 of parents said their stress made it hard to focus.
All this has caused some people to suggest that parenting today is more difficult than it has ever been. In the midst of this handwringing and angst, I’d like to say a few things to encourage those who are parenting.
Parenting is never easy. Not in this generation, the one before, or the ones that will come after. It is the toughest job you’ll ever love. Maybe the place to begin is to recognize this and adjust our expectations.
Historical perspective is helpful. Here’s something else to consider. Despite the challenges of parenting, people have been finding a way to do it since the beginning of time. In fact, we are all here today because everyone in our ancestral line somehow managed to figure out how to do it. They worked hard, made sacrifices, and often had a larger family.
As to parenting today being more difficult than any other generation in recent history, just remember your grandparents or great grandparents parented through the Great Depression and WWII. While they didn’t have the challenge of the internet (and everything related to it) to deal with — they did have the challenge of a collapsed economy and fathers going overseas to fight in a war with no guarantee of them returning (and many of them didn’t).
Practice the power of “No.” Much of parents’ manageable stress comes from the fact that they’re over-committed and under resourced. They don’t have enough time, energy, or money to do everything well. Yet they continue this frenetic pace because everyone around them is doing so.
This is where initiative and leadership come in. Learn to practice the power of “No.” Step back. Slow down. Simplify. Learn to discern between the urgent and the important. Recognize that less can be more and choose quality over quantity. Your children won’t always appreciate this, but you will be teaching them a valuable life lesson.
I remember when I was growing up my father, an aerospace engineer, told me he had turned down a promotion at work. That seemed strange to me because I thought a promotion was always a good thing. He explained to me it would have meant travel, longer hours, and being away from the family more. After he told me this, I still didn’t fully understand it, but I do now — and I appreciate what he did for our family. He recognized there were some things money couldn’t buy. Let me add that it’s not just about parents cutting back, many times they must help their children dial down their activities as well.
So parents, don’t believe those who tell you that parenting is a hill that is almost impossible to climb. It’s not. I know plenty of parents from different generations who have and are joyfully climbing that hill despite their share of hardships and challenges. Anchor yourself in God, benefit from the fellowship of His people, and take things one day at a time.
Your children will be blessed as you do this!4
Bruce has a new book out called This Is The Day that is available through Spiritbuilding Publishers and Amazon.
