By SEAN DIETRICH
Lessons from my blind rescue dog:
— Wherever you are, find the dog-people.
— The only things in life that matter are people and food. Although not necessarily in that order.
— You learn everything you need to know about a person by the way they talk to you.
— When you are blind, friends are very important. If you hang around the wrong ones, you’ll get lost.
— Food tastes SO good.
— But not broccoli.
— If you do enough of the things that scare you, you won’t be scared of those things anymore.
— Out of all the animals on the earth, humans are the only ones who can be cruel.
— Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you will end up peeing in the house. So just remember, if you DO pee indoors, try not to walk through your own puddle.
— There is no such thing as a little triumph.
— Being afraid is okay. Everyone gets afraid. But being afraid doesn’t have to slow you down. You can be afraid and be strong at the same time. In fact, sometimes the strongest creatures are also the most afraid.
— If you DO, however, walk through your own ginormous puddle of pee, and your feet become wet with puppy urine, whatever you do, DON’T climb onto Dad’s bed with your pee-feet and put your paws on his pillow and root around like you are searching for exotic truffles.
— There is no value in celery.
— Or spinach.
— Life is far easier if you have a bad memory.
— Follow the voice of someone who loves you and you will be OK.
— The most valuable possession you own is your trust. But trust has a shelf life. So give it to someone fast or it will spoil.
— Children are always nice to blind dogs.
— People in hotels do not like it when you sniff their butts at the communal coffee machine.
— If someone loves you, they will prove it to you with a treat.
— When you get lost in your own backyard, just make a lot of noise. The human who loves you will be there shortly.
— Lack of empathy is the same as abuse.
— The person who feeds you supper is probably your true friend. But the person who shares his Mexican takeout food with you, including his queso dip, AND lets you eat on his bed, is the truest kind of friend there is.
— You can’t pay attention to bad things and good things at the same time.
— Squirrels are weird.
— Books are good for chewing. Especially the books your dad bought on Amazon about training dogs.
— Dogs were not created to poop on a leash.
— Sometimes, humans like to shout during televised college football games, and they cuss a lot, too. This is very disturbing.
— Especially when Tennessee beats Alabama.
— Occasionally, in the middle of the night, if you get scared, or disoriented or you can’t remember where you are, just find your best friend. Press your cold nose against your friend. And that friend will hold you tightly.
And even though you are frightened, and your world is so dark, and you sometimes wonder why all this bad stuff has happened to you, you’ll feel OK because you’re not alone. And ultimately that’s what scares dogs (and humans) the most, is being alone. But you’re not alone. Nobody is. Not ever.
— There is no such thing as an evil dog-person.
