Win at Home



The opposite of winning is losing. Professional development is mandatory for professionals, but professional development for families does not exist.

I facilitate professional development for several organizations, including The Southern Company, State Farm, Alan and Jean Millar Center in Alberta, Canada and dozens of universities, schools, teams, organizations and businesses. If top businesses have a plan for improvement, expectations and evaluations, why do we not plan to grow as parents and as a spouse?

Society emphasizes winning at work but not winning at home.

We award those who win in art, sports, engineering, politics and more. MotorTrend recognizes the car of the year, Time and People magazine recognizes the people of the year, while the Grammys, Oscars and Golden Globes recognize the year’s best performances. There are several awards in athletics given to the most valuable player, statistical leaders and there are always awards given to the winners.

However, no one recognizes the best grandparent, parent, uncle, aunt or child of the year.

Dr. Marin Luther King, Jr. won the Nobel Peace Prize but did not win at home. Billy Graham received several awards and was considered one of the most admired people globally, but his wife said he often neglected his family for his ministry.

Even the most respected clergymen can forget their first ministry is their family. If people who dedicate their lives to serving others fail at winning at home, do mere mortals like you and I stand a chance?

Like Mother Teresa or Eleanor Roosevelt, these men dedicated their lives to helping others. In a Garth Brooks song, “life is not tried; it’s just merely survived when we’re standing outside the fire”, four individuals didn’t stand outside the fire; they threw themselves into the flames.

Garth is the number one solo artist of all time. He has 22 Academy of Country Music Awards, 12 Grammy Awards and is in the Country Music Hall of Fame.

Another Hall of Famer is former head football coach Jimmy Johnson. He has won two Super Bowl Championships, a National Championship, Coach of the Year and was inducted into the National Football League Hall of Fame.

Mike Tyson is another Hall of Famer with an incredible resume. He was the undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the world and won several other awards.

In a documentary about his life, Brooks said he had forsaken his family, which cost him his marriage, and gave someone else his job of being a father to his three girls.

During his Hall of Fame Induction speech, Johnson said he never made it to one of his son’s football games. Then he said, that’s a shame.

Tyson told three University of Alabama football players that his self-centered attitude caused him to have multiple divorces, ruining his relationship with his children.

We celebrate and idolize talented individuals who often neglect their families for the sake of their occupation. This is true of all professions. I know I am guilty.

Families spell love t.i.m.e. Would you rather be the mother of the year or teacher of the year. Would you rather be a salesman of the year or husband of the year?

I don’t know about you, but I want to win at home.


1. Spend as much time as possible with your family.

2. Live in such a way to earn a nomination for winning at home.

3. Idolize your family, not celebrities.


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