BY WALT ALBRITTON
OPINION —
Ninety-three and counting — enough time to amass a long list of regrets. But my list is short, because the Lord has shown me how to handle my shame and regrets. To regret something that happened, or didn’t happen, is a common experience. Regret is “a feeling of sadness, remorse or disappointment over something that has happened or been done, sometimes accompanied by a wish that things had been different.” Regret is “a negative emotion focused on past actions and inactions.”
I have had my share of those negative emotions. I have struggled with those devilish phrases: I should have… I shouldn’t have… Why did I… Why didn’t I… If only… I wish…. Thankfully, the Lord has delivered me from my deepest regrets. Like most people, I had regrets related to loved ones who had died. Things I wish I had said or done.
Regrets create the mental distress of anguish, grief or sorrow. Their severity can become so painful that suicidal feelings emerge. Such remorse can lead one to a much deeper level than “feeling sorry” something has happened. Regret can lead to tragic results; some people are “dead” long before their funeral.
Since we all have regrets, perhaps instead of sharing political views, recipes, gossip or the latest jokes we’ve heard, we should share our solutions for dealing with regrets. I will share what has worked for me.
First, I have asked for and received God’s forgiveness for my sinful actions and inactions that created my regrets. In doing so I have claimed the promise of 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Second, I have asked people I have offended to forgive me. That’s never easy to do. Not having the strength to do it on my own, I have asked Jesus to help me, and he always has.
Third, I have forgiven myself. Despite my mistakes and stupidity, I have worth as a person because Jesus died for me. Self-condemnation comes by and knocks on my door; I tell the rascal there is no room for him in my life. The indwelling Christ gives us victory over self-despising.
Fourth, when remorse says “Let me in,” I affirm the presence of Jesus with me and listen to music that restores my soul. I sing along, out loud. I can hear with the ears of my soul Jesus speaking to me in the lyrics of songs. One recent example is “The Cross,” recorded by Anne Wilson with Chris Tomlin. I felt like shouting “Yes, Lord, yes!” as I listened to Chris Tomlin sing these words:
Everybody’s got a list,
At least a mile long,
Of every scar and every sin
From everywhere that we’ve gone wrong.
But there’s reason for rejoicing,
And the reason is because,
That list was nailed to the cross!
Why yes? Because Jesus nailed my list of scars and regrets to the cross! For years I have found peace by surrendering my regrets to Jesus. Now come the words and music to enforce that idea.
My faithful friend Greg Lotz shared “The Cross” with me, along with the idea that we should “count our blessings and not our regrets,” a line from another song Greg likes. So, here’s a solution for handling your regrets:
Count your blessings, not your regrets. Thank Jesus for nailing your list to the cross.
Open your Bible to Lamentations 3:19-23. Believe God put those words in the Bible for you. Read each verse out loud, as an affirmation of your gratitude for God’s mercies, just as Jeremiah did when he praised God for the hope God gave him: “I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Arise in the morning praising Jesus for freeing you from your regrets. Joyfully receive God’s new mercies. Focus on your blessings. Free from your past, look to the now. Ask Jesus for your assignment for the day, and be walking out the door as He tells you how to serve Him.
