BY WALT ALBRITTON
OPINION —
I cringe every time I hear someone spit out the bitter words, “I will never forgive him (or her) for what he (or she) did to me!” And yet over the years I have heard those angry words more than once. I wince because I know the infuriated person is on a collision course with God. The outcome is always the same. You lose whenever you disagree with God’s Word.
The teachings of Jesus leave us no middle ground when it comes to forgiveness. Not only does he say “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44), he also says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, our Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). So, if you want God’s forgiveness for your sins, you must forgive others for their sins against you.
When you are hurt by someone, you usually feel the offender should be punished. That is understandable. None of us finds it easy to overlook being victimized by someone. When we permit anger to take over, we may forget the teaching of Saint Paul in Romans 12:19 — “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” In the King James Version, the last words of this verse are translated, Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Those six words are God’s clear warning not to take revenge on anyone. Revenge is God’s business and He needs no help from us in handling it.
Anger can blind us into thinking that offering forgiveness to someone is a sign of weakness. Truth is, it is a sign of strength, which biblical examples affirm: God gave Stephen the strength to forgive those who were stoning him to death. Saint Paul was flogged, beaten, jailed and finally executed for preaching the gospel but in all his letters he never mentioned wanting revenge against his persecutors.
When you have been severely hurt by someone, though it is extremely difficult to forgive, you can ask Jesus to replace your anger with love. There is no doubt He is eager to answer prayers requesting the grace necessary to forgive. Then, you can say with Saint Paul, “I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
An unforgiving Christian is a contradiction in terms. Authentic disciples of Jesus have compassion for anyone who has “trespassed against us.” As Jesus taught us in the Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9-13), God will forgive us for our sins as (in the same manner) we forgive others. That is a spiritual law of the Kingdom. We may break this law by refusing to forgive someone, but in so doing we manage only to break ourselves. An unforgiving spirit is like a cancer out of control; it can destroy anyone who allows it room in their heart.
Since an unforgiving spirit can separate us from God, and we are unable in our own strength to forgive, we all stand in need of what the church calls grace. That is why we call Jesus “Savior.” He can save us from bitter resentment. He can melt our cold hearts and enable us to love those who have hurt us. He earned the right to teach us about forgiveness on that day when, dying on that cruel cross, he prayed for his executioners, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
So, if you are to live a life filled with love, this is the prayer you will need to pray when you are tempted to say, “I will never forgive you”:
“Loving Father, melt this anger in my heart, and save me from an unforgiving spirit. Forgive me for being slow to forgive. I admit that I do not have the strength to forgive on my own. So, mercifully, give me the strength to forgive. Fill my heart so full your love that there is no room for unforgiveness in it. Then, filled with your love, I will be able to do what Paul said do — ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.’ In the Name of Jesus, Amen.”
