Linda… Listen!

My husband is all of a sudden very distant and doesn’t want to communicate with me. We have been married for several years now and I have no idea what could have brought this on. I thought everything was fine. He also has stopped going to church with me and won’t even go to marriage counseling with me. What do I do to get him to open up to me about what is wrong?
Lonely and hurt in Opelika

Dear Lonely and hurt,
First off, let me say that I’m very sorry you are going through this. I was in the same situation once in my previous marriage. Sometimes in marriage we can let things just get shoved under the rug and pretend the issues aren’t there because we think they will go away and not have to deal with them. When we do this, we are setting ourselves up for a big problem in our marriage down the road. Your husband may have unresolved issues that hasn’t been dealt with in the marriage.
Your husband also may have someone else pulling him away or swaying him. In order to fix a problem, you have to know what the problem is before you can fix it. When my previous husband pulled away from me, family and our church, I buried my head in the sand for a few months but then found out he was seeing someone else.
The bottom line is don’t put your head in the sand and get to the bottom of this sudden change in behavior. Just remember a marriage takes both partners giving 100 percent and as much as we want to make our partner give more, we can’t. Good luck to you!
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