That trembling in my soul
OPINION —
Were You There” is a haunting phrase in the old spiritual, “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” The refrain stirs my soul every time I sing it: “Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble ….”
The song reminds us that contemplating the crucifixion of our Lord does indeed cause us to tremble. Each verse is a penetrating question. It is really difficult not to tremble when you are asked, “Were you there when they nailed Him to the tree?” Or “when they pierced Him in the side?”
Rocks and trees do not tremble. But we can be thankful that God created us with the capacity to tremble inside and in some small way “feel the pain” that our Lord endured when He was crucified. It is good that we can tremble inside.
There are times when I do not enjoy trembling. Fear of an angry, barking dog can cause me to start shaking. I shake a little when a bad driver scares me on the highway, or when I hear bad news about a friend or loved one. And I don’t enjoy the shivering that occurs when I get wet and cold on a winter day.
But there are moments when trembling inside is blessed evidence of the power and presence of God. I store the memories of these moments in my heart and recall them now and then to bolster my faith when God seems distant.
I trembled inside the night I surrendered my life to God for the ministry. I wept and prayed. I felt God near. Time seemed to stop for a moment as I sensed God saying, “Follow my Son Jesus. He will help you discover my gracious plan for your life.” I did that, and He has guided me far beyond my expectations at age 18.
On a Sunday afternoon I trembled inside when I stood at that same church altar and entered the covenant of marriage with my childhood sweetheart, Dean. I was a brash, cocky young man, but inside I was fearful and uncertain, with little self-confidence.
My brashness, I learned later, was a futile attempt to hide my meager self-esteem. Inside I was overwhelmed that this beautiful young woman actually loved me enough to commit her life to me, a poor country boy with little to offer her. The two hundred dollars in my pocket provided us a very short honeymoon.
I trembled inside when the doctor came out of the delivery room and said, “You have a fine, healthy son!” Two years later I would tremble again when another said, with a sad and heavy heart, “Your son has leukemia and has probably less than a year to live.” I trembled inside when this precious son, David, died in my arms one morning in May the next year.
For more than 70 years I have trembled inside as I have talked and prayed with people who were getting “connected” to Jesus. A good friend, dying in a hospital bed, was too weak to get out of bed. Tears filled his eyes as he asked me if I thought God would forgive him for his sins. I assured him God was more than willing to forgive him.
His words linger in my memory: “Brother Walter, please let my wife kneel on my behalf as you pray for me.” His wife and I knelt beside his bed, and I called upon our loving Father to forgive his sins and fill his heart with peace. When we stood up and looked at him, I knew the Lord had released him from his guilt. The peace of Jesus filled the room like a perfume. Inside I was trembling with joy unspeakable.
Often, I have trembled inside when parents presented their infants for holy baptism, when teenagers asked me to pray for them to find God’s will for their lives, when couples have knelt at the altar with me and said, “Please pray for our marriage.”
I always trembled inside when people walked the aisle and met me at the altar to say, “We want to serve Christ in this church.” So many times, I have trembled inside when I stood with a family at an open grave and realized that God was keeping His promise to comfort those who were mourning, and to kindle in their hearts the hope that “because He lives,” we too shall live.
In worship I tremble when I sense that God is using the power of the Living Word to stir hearts and motivate people to repent of their sins and get right with God. Few things in church have thrilled me more than hearing someone say, “I need to surrender my life to Jesus.”
During those sacred moments when God causes me to tremble, I realize that He is more than our Creator and the Great Architect of the universe. He is our loving Father, the living God, present with us, loving us, and causing our hearts to pound and inspiring us to humble ourselves before Him.
Because God is with us, His Body the Church, quivers with life. He invites us to wake up, feel His caring presence, yield to His Spirit, and receive the grace to serve Jesus. When we do, we tremble inside.
Thanks be to God for that trembling in my soul, the inner evidence that He is with me, with all of us, and through faith in Christ we are sons and daughters of the living God — trembling servants of the Savior who suffered for our sins.
