Tis’ the season to eat unhealthy

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Last Friday night, I went down to Niffer’s on the Tracks to pick up a black n’ bleu bacon burger. Those things are tasty. The Opelika Bulldogs were playing on TV, so I hung around for a while. The Dawgs didn’t take home the victory, and I didn’t take home the burger. I ate it there.
I went back the next day around lunch talk with the manager about a project I’m currently working on. As I walked in, I passed some friends sitting there eating the French dip sandwich. It looked amazing, and since I hadn’t had one in quite some time, I bit the bullet and ordered one. Within minutes, I was biting more than the bullet. The French dip was perfection.
One of my pals was sitting at the bar, so following lunch, we drove out to the deepest, darkest part of Beauregard to visit Capps Sausage. I’d often heard about this place but had never been there.
I ordered bacon and hot sausage patties and links.
Two days into purchasing the pig, I’d already eaten half of it. I plan on going back sooner than later.
I was doing so well with respect to my eating habits until my recent trip to Japan and Korea. Being away for 17 days was just too hard to handle. There were healthy choices along the way, but I apparently left my discipline in the Central Time Zone.
I even resorted to drinking soft drinks, a lot of them at that. For the past couple of years, I’ve only consumed sodas while at the movies, because popcorn and water go together like macaroni and Cheerios.
It just doesn’t make sense. I bought an 8-pack of Coke last night and drank one this morning with my Capps sausage and bacon. I ought to be ashamed of myself but am not. Sometimes, you just have to live. It might even be time to put that can of Crisco on the oven for the bacon grease. If it was good enough for grandmamma, it’s good enough for me.
I haven’t thrown in the towel just yet. In fact, I’ll probably need it for a bib tonight when I eat a slab of BBQ ribs, but I am trying to get back on track. In fact, I had yogurt for lunch.
Ok, so it’s more like a pre-lunch, but you get the point. I’ll probably have a bowl of chili. I cooked some Sunday night when the temperature dipped down below freezing. ‘Tis the season…
For the past three Sundays, I’ve had turkey and dressing from Kitchen 3810, and it was sho ‘nuff good, and by the time you’re reading this article, I will have eaten it many more times. ‘Tis the season…
I do plan on getting back to my healthier eating habits, but that, of course, will have to wait until after the New Year.
Eating healthy gives us a better shot at good health and longevity, but I know health nuts who have dropped dead while exercising. On the other hand, I’ve known people who used lard as a condiment who lived to be 90.
So I’ll get back on track in early 2016, but until then, I will continue to eat, drink, and be merry. ‘Tis the season…
Jody Fuller is a comic, speaker, writer and soldier with three tours of duty in Iraq. He is also a lifetime stutterer. He can be reached at jody@jodyfuller.com. For more information, please visit www.jodyfuller.com.

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