Spring is here

Spring is definitely my favorite time of the year. Nothing compares to the re-emergence of life following the dreadful winter season. Beautiful flowers, birds and a plethora of pasty white legs, including mine, have made their way onto the scene, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Who wants birds and flowers and tan legs the entire year? Well, perhaps most of us would, but at least it gives us something to look forward to.
Last spring was my first spring as a married man, and I learned so much. Until then, I thought every tree with white blooms was a dogwood. A year later, I still do, but I’m getting better at tree identification. This year, I think that just about every shrub is an azalea. Until now, I thought azaleas were pink and pink alone. This year, I’ve learned that they can be purple and yellow and orange, oh my.
They can also be blonde, auburn, blonde again, and brunette.
Wait. These are actually the different colors of my wife’s hair since last spring, although her favorite color is pink, and she did have purple hair as a teen.
When I was a teen, I had a mullet. Who am I to judge?
On Saturday morning, I washed my car and mowed the lawn. The yard looks great. Perhaps we can get one of those beautification awards. Once I get my pink flamingos off layaway, we are a lock for that honor.
I put the birdfeeders up at the new house a couple of weeks ago and the birds seem to be pleased; however, the squirrels are downright ecstatic. I need to do something to dissuade them from visiting these bird buffets.
I’ll get the hummingbird feeders filled up this week. With the plants and flowers in full bloom all around our home, they are bound to be in abundance this year.
On Easter Sunday, we had the traditional Easter dinner on the deck. Nothing says Happy Easter like a low country boil. OK, it’s not the traditional Easter meal, but perhaps it will be our traditional Easter meal for years to come. It sure was good.
It was also the season debut of our legs. They were so white that we continued to wear sunglasses even after the clouds hid the sunshine.
Spring is also the return of baseball and trips to the beach.
I love baseball. I’ve been a huge Braves fan since the days of Dale Murphy and Bob Horner but they just traded away one of my favorite players, so I’m not sure I can name anyone on their team. Well, there’s Freddie Freeman, for now.
I’m actually writing this column from beautiful Orange Beach. This is the best time to be down here because spring break has come and gone and families have yet to bombard the Gulf Coast. Be that as it may, I’m stuck in my hotel room with mounds of work to do. After an overnight trip to Sacramento later in the week, I have to go play Army for two weeks in Virginia, where I’ll have to wear my full uniform throughout the day. It appears that my legs shall remain pasty and white for the foreseeable future.
We spent most of Easter Sunday on the deck and in the yard and, due to the pollen, went to bed that night with headaches. The next morning, the car was covered in bird DNA and pollen, while several blades of grass were growing faster than others.
I’ll likely have to cut the grass again this Saturday, too. I don’t mind doing it the first time or two of the year, but after that, it becomes a chore.
Perhaps while I’m away, my wife can don her shorts on a sunny day and mow the lawn. That would kill two birds with one stone, or at least scare them away from my car, although I don’t see that happening.
On second thought, maybe fall is my favorite time of the year. There’s football … and leaves.
Jody Fuller is a comic, speaker, writer and soldier with three tours of duty in Iraq. He is also a lifetime stutterer. He can be reached at jody@jodyfuller.com. For more information, please visit www.jodyfuller.com.