I know we’re not the only ones

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I distinctly remember as a third grader, having an obsession with the “Archie’s” cartoon. I was a precocious music fan at five, so finding a cartoon that actually had songs on the radio was like eight-year-old perfection. I often talked my friends into playing the characters and I’m sure, somewhere, there is a home movie or two with us lip syncing the words to “Sugar Sugar”.

Those were the ‘60s … When I reached 12 or so, I had Donny Osmond’s face plastered all over the walls of my room. There may have been a few Bobby Sherman and maybe one David Cassidy, but Donny was most certainly my favorite. He was cute, talented and squeaky clean.

Flash forward to this week. My eight year old is draped across a chair in the next room laughing her head off at the TV. I figure she is watching one of those laugh track laden Disney shows or Nickelodeon, but when I round the corner I hear a hoot, or holler or some crazy animal call.

There on the screen is an almost toothless man covered in mud holding a turtle. I asked her what in the world?

She replied. “It’s the Call of the Wildman Show…..He is the best at getting animals out of people’s stuff. Watch this, he’s getting a really old turtle out of that fish pond. He’s the coolest!”

Yes, my daughter has a crush on “Turtleman.” She watches episodes she’s already seen. She watches alone. She laughs hysterically at him – I’m just not sure why.

I went to my authority on all things domestic these days, Facebook. I posted a status about my child’s odd interest and was dumbstruck to find that she is not alone. It appears that lots of little girls are crushing on Ernie Brown (please Lord, no relation). It seems that this wacky, probably mentally unstable, self professed “red neck” is the new Donny Osmond. I can’t believe I just mentioned Donny and “Turtleman” in the same sentence.

I’m sure, as with Uncle Si from “Duck Dynasty,” there is a great deal of “playing up” on Turtleman’s quirks. But, we’ve seen his mother for heaven’s sake! She is just like him, toothless and all! (for the record, I do not think people without teeth are inferior, but I would think a highly rated TV show might warrant dentures! Then again, what do I know?)

Several people I respect voiced positive reasons why this “Turtle Crush” might not be a bad thing.

He does good for those around him. Ok, kissing snakes is fine if you are removing them from my presence.

He is good-natured and fun-loving. I’ll give him that.

It’s a relatively clean show. Have you seen him coming out of that mud pond?

I can think of only one reason not to worry about this latest obsession. I won’t have to take my child to a concert! Unless … please no, someone makes that horrible turtle call thing he does into a song!

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