I have decided I’d like to have Guy Fieri’s job.

If you are not a Food Network fan, you may not even know who he is. If you are, you know he has some real “gravy” gigs. He gets to (at least pretends to) drive around the country in a classic convertible looking for Drive-ins, Diners and Dives.

These eating establishments offer a wide variety of tastes and Guy gets to sample some pretty good looking grub. I usually watch trying to memorize what they put in the chili or special sauce.

Guy always gives a tour of the place and helps the cook put together the house specialty. Regular customers are interviewed and those of us at home drool over plates piled high with interesting assortments of food.

I have been known to try to mimic a dish or two. One was a special cheeseburger that involved cooking the meat on a griddle (like we use for Saturday pancakes). Once the burger was done, shredded cheese was plopped on top, ice cubes were put around the patty and a metal bowl was put over the whole thing, in order to … I don’t know, seal the deal? After a few minutes the masterpiece was done … a beautiful cheese lace protruded from a sesame seed bun.  Something about the cheese melting on the hot griddle then being stunned by the ice made it crunchy.

We tried the grilled cheese lace burgers. It sort of worked. We grilled our burgers first, then put them on the griddle and loaded on the cheese. The ice, cheese, patty combination took a bit of coordination and about six hands.

The finished product was not real pretty, but I had to agree with Guy, they were really good.

I think if someone gave me half a chance I could show Mr. Fieri a thing or two. I would take him to Mrs Story’s Dairy Barn for a chili/slaw foot-long. While there, we’d have one of her famous shakes that helped me add 30 pounds to my last two pregnancies.

We’d visit Bizilia’s Café over in Auburn and have a Panini and some of that crazy good potato salad they serve.

We would have to stop at Chuck’s Bar-b-que, Jim-Bob’s, Sarah J’s, and no trip through our town would be complete without the chicken salad plate at Cottage Cafe.

Yep, I could keep old Guy busy for days. He might decide to never leave, which would be fine with me.

I’d be smiling and waving back at him as I drove away in his sweet convertible.