A trip to the ER

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Over the weekend, we had plans involving family and pool time. Those plans, however, changed. We wound up at the emergency room after I upgraded my juggling act from oranges to an apple, a carrot, and a chainsaw. I had a feeling the carrot would be too much to handle.
The real reason we made the ER our home for several hours was because Lucy wasn’t feeling well and hadn’t for a few days. In spite of my relentless chivalry, she’s been sick throughout the pregnancy. “You crave. I slave.” has been my internal motto, and that’s okay with me—whatever it takes for her to feel well throughout this pregnancy and beyond.
Although sickness was nothing new, the days leading up to the trip to the ER were especially bad. She’d hardly gotten out of bed. We feared she might be dehydrated. She called that Lee Obgyn guy again for some guidance. I don’t know who he is but Mr. Obgyn is always full of good advice. I may even be a little jealous. He apparently has a way with the ladies.
Anyway, since it was the weekend, he recommended she go to the ER, and so we did. The last time and only time I was at the ER, I shared the waiting room with the Brady Bunch and the Clampetts. It was not a very pleasant experience. This time, the Adams Family occupied most of the seats in the waiting area. I’m not trying to be mean, but there was definitely a Lurch, an Uncle Fester, and a Cousin It amongst the bunch. The eavesdropping was quite entertaining, to be honest. One of them needed to go to the car to get their “drank and cigarettes.” Even my sick lady got a few chuckles out of it.
Fortunately, we didn’t have to wait very long. After vitals, triage, and paperwork, we were on our way to the back. Lucy was instructed to put on her luxurious hospital gown. Emily made me stand behind the curtain while her mom disrobed. It was “girls only” according to her, so I obliged until Lucy was resting comfortably in the bed.
From that point on, we had a great time—“we” being Emily and me. We had so much fun that Lucy almost pressed the emergency button to have us removed from the room. Our nurse was just wonderful in every way. When she used the little thingamajig to listen to baby Abigail’s heartbeat, Lucy’s innards sounded like heavy traffic in a major city. There were horns and brakes and even some growls, but we did manage to hear the precious heartbeat amongst all the traffic.
The nurse took specimens from Lucy, and it was later determined that she was indeed slightly dehydrated. The doctor came in to check on her a few times, and after a couple of bags of fluid and some new nausea medication, she was feeling better. The nurse gave us some snacks and soda, too, so we were all feeling better than we were when we came in. Afterwards, we were still hungry, so we made a family trip to Cracker Barrel. I ate so much that I was no longer feeling better. I needed a nap.
We are grateful to the ER staff at EAMC that took great care of us. They were professional and courteous in every way. Lucy has felt so much better the last few days that I might start bringing her in twice a week for fluids even after she gives birth in December.
Jody Fuller is from Opelika. He is a comic, speaker, writer and soldier with three tours of duty in Iraq. He is also a lifetime stutterer. He can be reached at jody@jodyfuller.com. For more information, please visit www.jodyfuller.com

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