Plotting, planning for the pre-holiday pilgrimage

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The writer of the book of James discusses planning ahead. I forget whether he’s fer it or agin it. Anyway, we need to do some pretty fast planning for a very important event coming up—the annual pilgrimage to Frontier Country.
I’m happy to announce that Ms. Sasha Fras is managing the whole thing. You need to get in touch with her right away if you plan to make this wonderful trip.
I have been helping her by securing our transportation. So far Dr. Whoopee and Fred have volunteered their pickups for the trip
Dr. Whoopee has promised that this time, he will be sure to have everything cleaned up. You’ll remember that last year he had just hauled a load of hogs to market , and there was a lot of complaining about the odor.
They both promised that there’d be a nice carpet of hay or virgin pine needles this time.
I have scouted the possible routes to see about rest stops and such. One thing’s for sure: we’ll want to stop by the Twixt ‘n’ Tween in Centerville for the best barbeque in the state. Then there’s a place somewhere Prattville and Tuscaloosa, where  the scrub oaks grow, reminding me of Ft. Jackson, SC. There is ample covering on each side of the road.
In addition to the barbecue, we will, of course, need a good supply of RCs and Moon Pies and potted meat and parched peanuts,
Troops, we’ll have to go through Tuscaloosa, just no way around it. All I can say is keep as low a profile as possible and don’t make eye contact with any of the natives.
After that we have two choices: we can take the southerly route, but that means going over the speed bump in Gordo. Or we can take the northerly route, which means having to cross Hell’s Creek. However our relations with the warlords there are fairly good, so that shouldn;t be too much trouble. However, don’t make any sudden moves.
By the way, a few of the more affluent trekkers have decided to fly in to Lamar International.  Cousin Tom has been contacted, and he can pick them up in his pickup.
We’ll all eat supper that first night at the Sanitary Cafe—great blue plate special, and I heartily recommend the beef stew. After that, you’re on your own.
Oh. we will see the department stores in my home town. Falkner’s, Thos. S. Lollar’s, Clearman’s and the Yellow Front Store. Shop away! Get anything from a living room suite to a mule collar, from a plow point for a steel beam turning plow to a Sunday-go=to=meeting frock. Get the best milk shake in the world at the Rexall Drug Store, or a hot dog or hamburger at Wimpu’s Place.
We’ll tour our heavy industry, the gin and associated warehouses, the two blacksmith shops, Turner’s Grist Mill and the pond that also serves as the city swimming hole.
The courthouse is, of course, the seat of government in the county capital.
The streets around it will be all lit up with criss-crossing Christmas lights, and the water tank high on the hill at the edge of town will soon have its huge, blue-lit cross, which can be seen all the way up to Mr. Dink Reeves’ place.
As an educational side trip, we will visit our neighboring, rival town ten miles to the north.
There you’ll get to see the Ogden gin, the Ogden (cottonseed) Oil Milll, Ogden’s state-of the-art blacksmith shop, Ogden’s general store, the Ogden Bank … . If we’re lucky, we might get to see a Frisco freight train come through. Wow!
All in all, this is shaping up to be a very entertaining and educational trip.
But remember, time is running out. Get in touch with Ms. Fras right away, and … Bon Voyage!

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